As narrow minded idiots obsess over the silencing the Bongs of Big Ben, normal people tell them to get a fucking grip.
After Jeremy Hunt asked Professor Stephen Hawking to "look at evidence", Professor Hawking's voice box seems to have developed a fault.
Alpha male bully and President of the United States, Donald Trump, today declared that a pissing contest is much more fun when you are in charge of the largest nuclear arsenal in the world.
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The school summer holidays in Britain are to be renamed "Autumn Holidays", it was announced today.
With reports that life expectancy is falling and with yet another increase in the state pension age - workers in their late 30's and early 40's were today told by the Government to 'die working'.
There have been reports today of a large explosion at the offices of the Daily Mail and Mail Online, as staff tried to write articles about the new female Dr Who.
Bolton woman, Em Bryo, has been offered the opportunity of a lifetime penning her own book, Fifty Shades of Stretchmarks, which is released this August by Pethidine Publishing Limited. Miss Bryo gives us an insight of what inspired her to write her very first book.
In an world exclusive, The Druid's Loom has secured the first article written the President of the United States.