Leading manufacturers of one of the world’s oldest board games have today announced that they are expecting huge losses over the coming financial year as retailers’ slash orders for Backgammon sets – against the fuchsia backdrop of controversy over the very nature of gammon.
What can the Conservative Party offer a working-class kid from Rochdale? Ordinarily, fuck-all. However, if that working-class kid from Rochdale had been a managing director at Deutsche bank, a millionaire, an MP for eight years, a cabinet minister for four years, and the son of a bus driver, then its the position of Home Secretary!
Jeremy Corbyn has sparked outrage across social media by taking 185 minutes to tweet a brief statement congratulating the Duke and Duchess of Windsor on the birth of their son. The reason for his unforgivable oversight is astonishing, yet predictable.
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Despite a ruling yesterday, stating that the "Two Child Benefit Limit" is lawful, the Druid's Loom can reveal today that some couples are exempt and will still receive state handouts.
The perennially anonymous leader of the Liberal Democrats, Sir Vince Cable, has hired a crack-team of personal branding experts to add a much-needed boost his non-existent public profile.
Wetherspoons today announced that they would be closing down all their social media accounts, as no amount of photographic manipulation can make their food appear edible.
Esther McVey, the Work and Pensions Secretary, is expected to make medical history this week as she becomes the first person to have a heart-of-stone removed. The Conservative MP for Tatton will then receive a human heart from an anonymous donor.
Excited anti-royalists have braved the inclement weather and set up camp outside the Funeral Directors to the Royal Household, eagerly awaiting news on the imminent passing of Prince Philip, the Duke of Edinburgh.