Slimy, stinking animal, Nigel Farage, was photographed today, throwing dead fish into the River Thames, in a publicity stunt that makes him look like an even bigger twat than he actually is.
Up to 3000 jobs have been put at risk today with the announcement that Maplin's Holiday Camps are set to close. The once popular entertainment centre has blames cheap internet holidays deals and the low value of the pound for their demise.
People in Wales and the South West of England has expressed concern today, as they learned that Oxfam would be dispatching aid workers to areas worst affected by todays earthquake.
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The Health Secretary, Jeremy Hunt, has warned people about the new craze that is sweeping the internet, that involves coughing one's anus inside out.
The people of Norway have declined 'President' Trump's offer to live in a shithole country that has an intolerant political agenda against fellow human beings.
People across the country were amazed today when the controversial comedian Roy 'Chubby' Brown won the poet laureate award for some of his publicly displayed work.
After the new price rises for the average rail fares, train companies now include a 'pound of flesh' option for those unable to pay.
Special Needs President, actually believes that if there is some cold weather somewhere it means there is no such thing as "global warming".