Scruffy national embarrassment, Boris Johnson, has ‘surprisingly’ changed his mind over his opinions about Donald Trump after the billionaire was voted in as President of America.
Jasmine Knittedmuff a spokes person for Boris Johnson, who is forced on a daily basis to work in a really messy, disorganised office, told the Druid’s Loom, “Boris didn’t think Donald Trump would win at all, so he said loads of really nasty comments about him. He aligned him to the behaviour of terrorists, said that he wouldn’t want to meet him in New York and declared him unfit for the presidency.“
“However, when Mr Trump actually got elected, Boris shat himself and decided to suck up to him instead. He really is an opportunistic little turd. It was exactly the same with his Brexit U-Turn. The man doesn’t not have a moral compass, he simply seeks out the best selfish option for himself, and uses it to feather his own, vast nest.” she added.
As Boris, pathetically fawned over the president-elect yesterday, the Druid’s Loom approached him for comment.
“Fluffle wobblester, hurumphly bandooly. Whinge-o-rama, waffle opportunity, trade deal brexitowumper,” he exclaimed, like a nonsensical hippo on crack.
Mess of a Human Being
Randy Oilfield, a spokesman for Donald Trump’s office, told the Druid’s Loom, “One thing that Mr Trump remembers above everything else are people who criticise him and the comments they make. He is a man who holds grudges – very big grudges. No amount of grovelling and ass licking is going to fix that, especially from that mess of a human being.“