Ape Shit!

Silverback Gorilla, Kumbuka, proper lost his shit yesterday, after being taunted by a load of twats.

Kumbuka, "I Just lost it - Sorry"
Kumbuka, “I Just lost it – Sorry”
Gellinger / Pixabay

Visitors to London Zoo were left shocked yesterday, when a silverback Gorilla, went mental and smashed through its enclosure in a cataclysmic fit of rage.

Strange Expression
“I was looking through the enclosure window at the hunched up figure and it was just staring back at me, with a really strange expression on its face,” explained Kumbuka yesterday.

“It kept taunting me, screaming, pulling faces and making obscene hand gestures at me. The zoo keeper even asked them to stop,but they carried on,” he added.

Red Mist
“I’m afraid the red mist came down and I just lost it,” he explained apologetically. “I’m ashamed of my behaviour and I promise not to let it happen again.”

Zoo Keepers were quick to act and sedated Kumbuka, who only escaped into a holding area and posed no threat to the public.

However this hasn’t stopped morons running to the press trying to make this story much bigger than it is.

Greggs Pasty
Utter turd, Jaymes Gruntbucket told the Druid’s Loom, “It was like a scene from that film with the dinosaurs in, but wivout the fuckin dinosaurs. People were screaming and in the panic I dropped my Greggs Pasty. I’m gonna sue.”

Social Skills
Zoo Keeper, Kerry Greenwobble outlined changes to Zoo policy that will prevent this kind of thing happening in the future. “Kumbuka has ten times the social skills as some of the “people’ who visit the zoo. Basically next time some twat tries to goad a 29 stone wild animal, we will tranquillize them instead.”

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