Artist To Unveil Latest Work Of Shart

The man with the explosive arse, Al Squitz will not only be opening his latest art exhibition tomorrow, he'll be part of it.

Al came here to sit and think, but all he did was shit and stink. Image courtesy of Brian Weldon and Al Dolan
Al came here to sit and think, but all he did was shit and stink. Image courtesy of Brian Weldon and Al Dolan

An up and coming artist is opening his latest exhibition tomorrow, however, this work of art is no oil painting.

SHIT HOLE
Al Squitz has taken a battered old caravan and battered it some more to create the desired state of an absolute shit hole. The project took him an entire 13 minutes and the caravan now looks like it has been a target of a 6am drugs raid.

EXPLOSIVE ARSE
The ransacked caravan is only half of the exhibition, the other half is Mr Squitz himself. Al will be sitting on the shitter day and night for a week. His involvement is to portray the man who’s arse is so explosive, he could quite literally turn a caravan inside out with one almighty shart.

Reporter Shaun Weldon visited Mr Squitz for a few words, and to have a sit on his toilet.

MAN MILK AND CUCUMBERS
“I was given the caravan by a friend…I say given, he’s on holiday at the minute and he left me in charge of his business, It was a mobile swingers club before I got creative with it. I was going to leave it intact and just mess it up a little, but it stank of man milk and cucumbers so I took off the roof and one of the sides to air it out, I decided to keep the stains for effect”, Al explains.

 

STEWED STEAK
Apathetic of what his friend may think when he sees what Al has done to his shagging shack, Mr Squitz will be adding the finishing touches tonight, in preparation of tomorrow’s unveiling.

“I’m not arsed, I’ll just tell him his ex wife did it because she found out he was servicing her sister. I’m going to splash a few tins of stewed steak around tonight, make the scene a bit more realistic”, he tells us.

HUGE FLOP
Al is hoping that the exhibition will be a success to make up for his last exhibition, a giant marshmallow manhood. The sweet smelling penis attracted thousands of wasps, causing panic and distress amongst the visiting crowd and twenty seven people were stung.
A child also became panicked when his head got stuck in the urethral opening in an attempt to climb inside, the exhibition was quickly shut down, it was a huge flop.

CAUGHT WITH HIS PANTS DOWN
Al’s caravan is a free exhibition and can be visited at any time, he will be sat on his throne 24/7 with his trollies around his ankles, pretending he’s just shat a tornado.

MARSHMALLOWS
“People can sit on my knee for photos if they want but I must state I’m easily aroused. It’s free to see but donations are welcome and bags of marshmallows will be on sale. All money raised will go towards buying my mate a new swingers shack if he starts being a knobhead with me for what I’ve done”, Mr Squitz adds.

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