Dear Druid, Back in the 80’s there were two conflicting paranormal organisations – Rentaghost and Ghostbusters. The former allowed you could rent a ghost to haunt people you didn’t like. Ghostbusters on the other hand was for the removal of such spirits. I for one, and believe that Timothy Claypole and Egon Spengler, were working together, in a […]
BudgetFlight owner Stavros Honolulu has set up BudgetFood, a new discount supermarket where all items cost 20p
The BudgetFlight brand has gone from strength to strength, offering a cheap, yet frightful travel experience for tight fisted customers; where luggage is treated better than the passengers. After launching a range of other budget products, owner Stavros Honolulu has proudly opened his first BudgetFood store, where all items are just 20p. Decay The first thing one is greeted […]
Dear Druid, I am the owner of a small cafe in Stow-on-the-Wold, and the other day I was serving a gentleman his order and I thought he looked a little bit poorly. I asked him if he was okay and he said it was just a bit of indigestion. A few minutes later, he collapsed […]
Hot on the heels of the cinematic release of "Dad's Army", the latest Perry/Croft classic to hit the big screen, is 1980's favourite - Hi-De-Hi.
Hot on the heels of the cinematic release of “Dad’s Army”, the latest Perry/Croft classic to hit the big screen, is 1980’s favourite – Hi-De-Hi.
Downing Street reacted with amusement today, when asked why the Prime Minister is considering a really expensive independent school for his son as opposed to a state school.
It emerged yesterday that David Cameron, is considering a range of really posh and expensive schools to send his son. This is despite suggesting in 2009, before he was elected that he would really like his children to go through the state education system. Common Practice When asked about this sudden change in opinion a Downing […]
Dear Druid, I haven’t seen any new pictures of Big Foot recently and I was wondering if he was okay. I was thinking if any of your readers have seen him, if they could let me know, because I am losing sleep over this. Maureen Wetbed, Dolgellu Druid’s reply: Well readers, can you put […]
Dear Druid, On a visit to “Pound Land” recently; I was horrified to discover a packet of “cheesy balls”, that contained the tag line, “Fluffy Little Cheesy Balls of Joy”. The images of popping these fluffy cheesy balls in my mouth and some how providing another man with joy, disgusted me so much that I vomited all […]
Dear Druid, I spotted this sign when I was doing my school run, and I followed the instructions carefully. I parked up; avoiding all obvious hazards. However, I must have been in the wrong place, because after running around the school playground for 20 minutes in my lycra suit, the headteacher called the Police. I was escorted […]
Lottery scam idiot, Hollee-Jo Binte, actually expected lotto officials to hand over £33 million, without really checking the ticket, after claiming it had been accidentally put through the wash it emerged today.
Hollee-Jo Binte, a 46 year old grandmother, from Banbury reacted with shock yesterday, when she was refused her share of the recent £66 million lottery jackpot. “I really didn’t expect them to check the ticket that carefully”, she told the Druids Loom in a grating mock cockney accent. Pausing only briefly to take a few […]
Teachers across the country want to punch education secretary, Nikki Morgan, in the face. But is she more punch-able than Michael Gove? The Druid's Loom investigates.
There was no doubt that Michael Gove had a very punch-able face. With his, big rubbery lips, smarmy smile and bizarre facial gurning. However teachers have recently found their fists drawn to the face of Education Secretary incumbant, Nikki Morgan. Whilst not naturally punch-able; over time; her smug, self-satisfied smile and continuous degradation of the […]