BBC to Hire North Korean News Anchor

The Bias Broadcasting Corporation is to hire Ri Chun-hee, the North Korean news anchor, to front its revamped 'State News at Ten' program. 

Ri Chun-hee - The New Face at BBC News at Ten
Ri Chun-hee – The New Face at BBC State News at Ten
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Ri Chun-hee, has a unique and  enthusiastic presentation style, that involves wailing and crying over government scripted news stories on the country’s state broadcast system.

Propaganda
She has captured the hearts and brainwashed the minds of millions of North Koreans since the 70’s and has now been snapped up by the BBC to pedal all the latest and best Conservative propaganda.

Dear Government
The BBC is really excited about Miss Chun-hee’s appointment,” explained the BBC’s current affairs editor, David Blumpermot. “She will be fronting on our new revamped news program, that will  feature all the latest stories selected by our Dear Government. All televisions and plasma screens in public places will also be required by law to screen this ‘news’.

Military Uniform
We asked Mr Blumpermot if this type of bias broadcasting went against the BBC charter and he replied “I’m sorry, it is more than my jobs worth, and indeed my life, to discuss matters relating to our wonderful Government,” before he was escorted away crying, by two men in full military uniform.

It is understood that Mrs Chun-hee has been specifically contracted to get over emotional at all the following future events:

  • The runaway conservative success in all future by-election results.
  • Britain leaving the EU
  • Nuclear tests on France
  • The execution of members of the opposition party
  • Conservatives winning the general elections in 2020, 2025, 2030, 2035 etc etc.

New Test-Card
Further changes at the BBC, include bringing back the ‘test-card’, which will be featured on the channel at all other times, when Ri Chun-hee is not broadcasting. The new test-card has been brought up to date to reflect the dawning of a new and wonderful political landscape. The Druid’s Loom was lucky enough to see a preview of this test-card we have been sanctioned to publish it here!

The BBC Test Card - 2016
The BBC Test Card – 2016

 

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Robert

Hoo-rar for the glorious leader and government, and for glorious workers of British Industry, who both have record export, and train to find new work and McJobs in modern service based industry. The Glorious British Empire over who the sun doesn’t set will last 1,000 years. Hoo-rar too for effort of disabled, who previously did not work, but with helpful sanctions many are finding new opportunities in afterlife where their disability no longer a problem. May Cameron and his friend and family from same school and clubs reign over us for lifetime of me and my descendants if I am… Read more »