Bloke at Pub’s Mate More Reliable than Daily Mail

The unnamed mate, of the bloke down the pub, who is cited in a range of outlandish anecdotes, is now classed as a more reliable news source than the Daily Mail, Wikipedia has revealed.

The Daily Mail - Purveyors of Bullshit
The Daily Mail – Purveyors of Bullshit.
Image Courtesy of Jeff Djevdet via speedpropertybuyers.co.uk/ under the CC BY 2.0 License

The mate of the bloke down the pub, who once claimed his brother dated Dannii Minogue, is now classed as a more reliable news source than racist hate-rag, The Daily Mail.

Kidney
After Wikipedia started to remove citation links, from the so-called newspaper, the blokes mate, related a fascinating story about someone he knew,  who got drunk on holiday and woke up in a bath missing a kidney.

Local Pub
The mate’s stories, which are retold in all their exaggerated detail by the bloke propping up the bar at your local pub, are still more plausible than anything you will find in the DMG media publication.

Complete Bullshit
Wikipedia spokesman, Clive Frutburger told The Druid’s Loom, “For many years now the Daily Mail has been publishing complete bullshit masquerading as news. It is designed with one purpose in mind – to wind up Middle Englanders into a foaming frenzy of hate and bile.”

“The bloke down the pub, mainly peddles urban myths that have been told to him by his ‘mate’. But despite being myths, at least somewhere down the line they have their roots based on elements of truth,” he added.

Grandma
The Druid’s Loom approached foul-mouthed Daily Mail editor, Paul Dacre for comment. “Immigrants are going to steal your jobs and rape your Grandma. The EU costs each person £100,000 a year, you fuckers,” he explained.

Other publications still deemed more credible than the Daily Mail, include “Russian Life, “North Korea Today” and the “Beano”.

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