British Political Debate Reduced to Contents of May’s Wardrobe

The Daily Mail, suddenly realised that the Prime Minister wears clothes, it emerged today.

Theresa May, Wearing Clothes, Yesterday
Theresa May, Wearing Clothes, Yesterday
Image Courtesy of Policy Exchange under the CC BY2.0 License.

With the British Security Services under a high terror alert and the country just beginning to settle after the post Brexit political maelström,  there is a lot of really important stuff going on in the world.

Naked
However the Daily Mail seem to have gone bat-shit mental over the fact that Theresa May, wears clothes and doesn’t go to Parliament naked. Not only does she wear clothes, but different clothes on different days.

Collapse
“I really couldn’t give a shit what the Prime Minister wears,” explained Julie Flocksausage, a Daily Mail reader with a home worth £340,000. “I’m kind of worried about the teacher shortage, and the fact that NHS is on the brink of collapse.”

“I really don’t need to know what colour shoes Mrs May is wearing today when I am worrying about the plight of people who have had their Disability Living Allowance cut,” she added

Wardrobe
Other media outlets have also been obsessed with Theresa’s wardrobe. Despite not really ever mentioning what David Cameron was wearing – except perhaps when he went on holiday – they just can’t stop reporting on Mrs May latest jacket.

Sexy Little Black Number
Sun Fashion Editor and pervert, Gerald Slimebucket, told the Druid’s Loom, “She’s  a woman and like shoes and dresses I expect. It is therefore our job to comment on everything she wears like it is national importance. Remember those leopard print shoes… mmmmm nice!”

“I also like to imagine what kind of underwear she has on. I bet it;s a sexy little black number and looks really slutty,” he added while licking his lips.

Cardigan
Meanwhile, more people are living in poverty and parents are having to go without food, to feed their children. The effects of this are costing the British taxpayer nearly £76bn a year. But it’s okay, because Theresa has been seen wearing a new fucking cardigan today.

 

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