After the latest Government u-turn, on the policy of forced academisation, teachers have pleaded with the morons at the Department for Education. All they ask, is that they find a fucking policy, and stick with it for more than five minutes.
“Look, we know we are probably not going to agree with the shit they throw at us, but to be honest we have just had enough now,” explained Carrie Wondermullet, a teacher from a school somewhere. “We would just be grateful if they could find one mad-cap idea and run with it. We will even stop moaning – we promise. We beg you – no more – stop changing stuff – PLEASE!“
Schools have been reeling from the abandonment of the SATs spelling tests, a hugely delayed GCSE curriculum, u-turns on academies, u-turns on GCSEs, u-turns on School Building Programs, u-turns on unannounced OFSTED inspections and u-turns on School Sport. They are now just completely pissed off with it all.
“Each one of these u-turns required stress and a huge amount of work; then the Government changes its mind and we simply have to discard everything that we have done,” explained Finlay Bogglemunt, a really annoyed Headteacher. “Then we have to start again, with the next load of bullshit they come up with. Those shit-bags are messing with children’s lives, the need to sort it out NOW!“
Charlie Chunkyscrotum, a spokesman from the Department for Education told the Druid’s Loom, “We really are clueless when it comes to stuff like this. None of us have ever worked in education, and we only set foot in a school for a highly contrived photo opportunity. We never have meetings or anything. Basically, policy is decided on the whim of Nicky Morgan or Nick Gibb.”
“The impossibly hard SAT’s reading test, that children are sitting today, came to Nicky Morgan in a dream apparently. Someone did try to tell her that they were straying into the realms of insanity; but I think she had them put on the sex offenders list or something,” he continued.