Being a Bastard – My Secret to Eternal Youth, by Robert Mugabe

At his 92nd Birthday Party yesterday, Robert Mugabe revealed the secret to his apparent eternal youth - Being a bit of a bastard. Today he tells The Druid's Loom, the secrets of his success.

Being a Bastard – My Secret to Eternal Youth, by Robert Mugabe

Hi there readers, Robert Mugabe here! It’s good to be able to talk to you today; the day after my amazing 92nd birthday. It wasn’t a cheap affair, cost around $800,000, but I had a really great time and it gave the me opportunity to get to work on some really top notch bastardry. Great Big Cake […]

Druid’s Loom Charity Appeal

Twitching Sphincter is a terrible medical condition that affects one in ten politicians worldwide. The main symptom is having a small mouth that resembles a twitching sphincter.

Druid’s Loom Charity Appeal

Druids Loom is determined to help raise awareness of this distressing condition because, until we find a cure, politicians will continue to talk through their arses. So please, spare a thought for people like Kim Jong Un and Hillary Clinton and give generously. Documentary Breaking news… As part of our Twitching Sphincter campaign we have […]

Medics Better at Medical Stuff

The media, Department of Health and Jeremy Hunt, have today reacted with fake surprise, that non-medical staff are not as good at giving medical advice as doctors and nurses with years of training.

Medics Better at Medical Stuff

Media outlets, such as the Daily Mail, have today reacted with a pathetic level of pseudo surprise, that the NHS111 help line; A call-centre that uses untrained medical staff to give life and death advice, is not as good as its (more expensive) predecessor, NHS Direct, that employed trained nurses. Finger Pointing In typical tabloid […]

London Fairground Surgeon Prosecuted

A London surgeon has been prosecuted for performing a sex change operation on a fairground ride. Dr. Trevor 'Butcher' Slop 43, began making a primary incision into his patient`s perineum the moment the ride started.

London Fairground Surgeon Prosecuted

Our fairground correspondent was at the scene and was able to highlight the story in full detail.

Helpful Hunt!

Amid strikes from the Junior Doctor, an over stretched NHS and complications with the NHS 111 helpline non-medically trained Health Secretary, Jeremy Hunt, offers his hints, and tips of how to deal with medical emergencies and procedures.

Helpful Hunt!

Hello there readers! It’s Health Secretary Jeremy Hunt here; looking to give you medical advice and top tips on how to stay healthy. Now it doesn’t take an idiot to realise that there are currently problems with our overstretched health service. In fact, I’ve made sure my department has fed the right wing press as many […]

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