The British public were stunned today when mediocre ‘Have I Got News for You” host, and complete twat decided he really couldn’t be bothered to sort out the huge fucking mess that he helped orchestrate.
Little Bit Annoyed
“I’m a little bit annoyed actually,” explained ‘Leave’ voter, Kevin Remorseman. “Boris made all these promises about Brexit that turned out to be untrue. Then when we got it, he has just buggered off leaving everyone else to sort out his mess.“
Rotund Little Fuckwit
“We are now living in an economically volatile country with no proper leader and no opposition. Far-right groups are rising up in many areas and people are worried about their future. The very least the rotund little fuckwit could do is stand for leader,” Mr Remorseman added.
Many people in Britain have been looking to the most vocal members of the ‘Leave’ campaign for leadership through this political tornado. Unfortunately they seem to have gone quiet. All except that uber-wanker, Nigel Farage, who’s massive fucking mouth is cropping up everywhere.
The Druid’s Loom asked Mr Johnson’s personal assistant why Boris decided not to run for the top job.
“Well Boris was actually pro Europe before all of all this,” Clara Kumquat explained. “However the turncoat saw an opportunity to be Prime Minister, if we all voted ‘Leave’. So guess what – he backed the ‘Leave’.“
“However, when he realised the massive disaster that he helped create, he shat himself. I mean – literally – he shat his pants, and had to rush out to the bogs to sort himself out. Basically, he is a rich, over-privileged coward who doesn’t give a crap about anyone but himself,” she added.
We asked Mr Johnson his views, but all he said was, “Fluffle Wuffle brrrrrrlumph, fliff flaff, wubble,” before cycling off like a massive telly tubby.