55 " /> China occupies small island known as 'Britain'

China occupies small island known as ‘Britain’

By Druids Loom Reporter on February 25, 2016

Unconfirmed reports suggest China may have occupied a small island in the North Sea known as 'Britain'.

construction Workers — **Chinese Construction Workers Yesterday**

Satellite images released by the Pentagon show a Chinese construction site at Hinkley Point. A spokesman for the Chinese government denied it has territorial ambitions in Somerset and the North Sea and threatened to kill anyone who said otherwise.

Tensions

Tensions remain high in the region because France, which invaded the island in 1066, has rival ambitions to provide the island it’s energy. The international community is looking on anxiously as Russian and Chinese oligarchs compete to buy large parts of Britain.

Nice Cup of Tea

The Russian ambassador to Britain was unavailable for comment but did ask reporters and dissidents to pop round for a nice cup of tea.

china, HinkleyPoint, NuclearEnergy

Global Panic at Druid’s Loom Outage

There was worry and panic across the world today as The Druid's Loom website suffered an outage, which meant it was offline for about 2 hours.

Carlisle Man Marries Tent

A thirty two year old Carlisle man has married his tent.

Teachers Assume There Must be a Mistake on Their Pay-slip

Teachers opened their pay-slips today and assumed there must have been some mistake. It appeared they were not earning the £65,000, as advertised in the latest teacher recruitment advert.

Huge Party Political Party Planned

Britain will be stunned to learn that party leaders, Cameron, Corbyn and the Lib Dem one are planning on having one big political party after a referendum confirms that we are staying in the EU. We understand vast quantities of alcohol and finger food have already been ordered in anticipation.