CIA is to Outlaw Bodyboarding

The US State Department has announced plans to stop the controversial practice of body- boarding. It follows widespread criticism from human rights groups who say forcing middle aged men with pot-bellies to humiliate themselves in front of younger, flaxen-haired surfers is cruel and inhuman.

Bodyboarding Banned
Bodyboarding Banned
PDPhotos / Pixabay – CC0

Since 2001, Amnesty International has been campaigning for the release of Douglas Brown, a middle aged dad who was arrested at a family party for dancing to ‘Tiger Feet’ by Mud.

Bundled

He was blindfolded, bundled into a car, and taken to the infamous holding camp at Croyde Bay. Since then he has been systematically bodyboarded, which critics say amounts to torture.

Dads to Devon

British Intelligence has been accused of complicity in sending dancing dads to Devon. In an official statement from MI5 a spokesman said: ‘Whereas we condemn the use of torture, watching your dad dance to Kylie Minogue is in itself a form of torture, and we shall fight fire with fire.’

According to President Obama, Croyde Bay will close in 2017 when the last Dancing Dad suspect is due to be released.

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