Cost of Academies a Bargain – Says Government

The £1.6 billion, estimated cost of converting all the schools in England to academies, is a mere snip at the price, say the Government.

£1.6 Billion - A Drop in the Ocean
£1.6 Billion – A Drop in the Ocean
klimkin / Pixabay

£1.6 billion is really not that much extra money to take out of the education budget in order to convert all remaining schools into academies; the Government explained yesterday.

Two Teachers
It’s only about £66,000 per school,” Glenda Wobbledroop, a spokeswoman for the Department of Education told us. “That’s like two teachers! Schools keep complaining they can’t get teachers anyway, so why not use the money to turn their school into an academy?

Academies are Great
According to the Department of Education academies are great, they are exactly the same as schools except, they have the ability to pay teachers less and do what the fuck they like in terms of working conditions.

Mrs Wobbledroop added, “Money saved from the teacher’s salary bill can be used to pay private educational consultants and legal teams to do whatever it is they do, for vast sums of money.

Money for Old Rope
Board Member from Educational Consultants R Us, Glenda Wobbledroop, told the Druid’s Loom, “Schools pay us loads to consult them on educational issues. Most of the advice we give is just lifted from the TES website. It’s money for old rope.

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Chris, Hampshire
April 3, 2016 11:09

Teachers get too much money anyway. All they are are glorified baby sitters. Proper jobs put money into the economy, teachers just take it out. If you want to look at how to save the economy, get rid of ALL public sector organisations.

Public sector worker
April 3, 2016 14:46

I’m guessing you went to private school; have always had private health insurance since you were born in a private hospital; don’t claim child benefit (like your parents); fly tip your rubbish as your council don’t collect it and you don’t want to take it to your local council’s tip; wouldn’t call the police if you were a victim of a crime; and would put out a fire yourself so you don’t have to use the fire brigade as they’re a bunch of public sector scroungers. You Jeremy Hunt.

Chris, Hampshire
April 3, 2016 14:51

Hah – I have you know I pay for all those services out of my hard earned taxes. Yes I am a taxpayer, unlike public sector workers who are paid for by the tax payer.

Civil Servents – the clue is in the title. You are my servant! You serve me – I owe you NOTHING!

Most of the services you mention up there are probably cheaper privately anyway if you worked it out.

I’m sure you could get prisoners to collect the bins and sweep the streets for free anyway

Money saving expert
April 4, 2016 06:21

We could also do away with the 650 odd MPs as they cost us shit loads of money. All they are is glorified shop keepers. They look after the same shop as their predecessors but all they do is rearrange the goods on the shelves. If we had a dictator then it would be cost-effective. Isn’t that what the current government want?