£1.6 billion is really not that much extra money to take out of the education budget in order to convert all remaining schools into academies; the Government explained yesterday.
“It’s only about £66,000 per school,” Glenda Wobbledroop, a spokeswoman for the Department of Education told us. “That’s like two teachers! Schools keep complaining they can’t get teachers anyway, so why not use the money to turn their school into an academy?“
Academies are Great
According to the Department of Education academies are great, they are exactly the same as schools except, they have the ability to pay teachers less and do what the fuck they like in terms of working conditions.
Mrs Wobbledroop added, “Money saved from the teacher’s salary bill can be used to pay private educational consultants and legal teams to do whatever it is they do, for vast sums of money.“
Money for Old Rope
Board Member from Educational Consultants R Us, Glenda Wobbledroop, told the Druid’s Loom, “Schools pay us loads to consult them on educational issues. Most of the advice we give is just lifted from the TES website. It’s money for old rope.“