Driverless Lorries – What Could Go Wrong?

As the Government plans to test a fleet of driverless lorries on British motorways, the British public wonder what could possibly go wrong.

A Driverless Lorry - Not Watching Porn - Yesterday.
A Driverless Lorry – Not Watching Porn – Yesterday. spazgenev / Pixabay

Putting a 44 tonne vehicle in the hands on an inanimate object, incapable of free thought would, to some, seems like a crazy idea. But after dominating the haulage industry for almost 80 years, drivers look set to be replaced.

A Million Times a Second

The new driverless vehicles will be fitted by computers that will analyse the surrounding environment a million times a second. This will hopefully reduce the chances of some massive fucker cutting you up on the motorway, or jamming on the brake s suddenly because the operator is watching porn-hub on his phone and isn’t concentrating.

Piss in a Lay-by

There are many advantages to having a computer control a lorry,” explained Harry Fritmungler, from IntelliTruck. “First of all the reaction time for a driverless lorry  is almost instantaneous. There will be huge efficiencies for the haulage industry. Finally there is the fact that the vehicle won’t need to stop and take a piss in a lay-by, making it stink for weeks,” he added.

Dogging Hotspots

Not everyone is happy with the driverless trial though. Lorry driver Bill Smuckmuck told The Druid’s Loom, “Having a driver is vitally important I think. We play a huge role, clogging up the services stations, lay-bys and dogging hotspots across the UK.

Also who else is capable of causing a massive multi-car pile-up on the M6, closing it for 5 hours?” he added.

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