Easter Sunday to be Renamed Sugar-Tax Sunday

The Government has announced that Easter Sunday is to be renamed Sugar-Tax Sunday, in honour of the huge windfall that the Bank Holiday will bring to the UK.

Eat Sugar for the Economy
Eat Sugar for the Economy
Gadini / Pixabay

The move has come to celebrate the huge tax take that the British Government will receive after the cost of Sugar-Tax Eggs is set to soar.

Over-Priced Chocolate
Brian Bigwallet, a spokesman from the Treasury told the Druid’s Loom, “It’s brilliant. We are going to be raking it in over the Sugar-Tax period – think of all that over-priced chocolate people buy – that’s going to boost the treasury and help us give the MP’s another huge pay rise.

Offending Muslims
The Government has not been the only group to take advantage of this renamed holiday. The Sun and Daily Mail ‘newspapers’ have used it as an oppourtunity to print another bullshit story saying how the holiday has been renamed to avoid offending Muslims.

Racial Hatred
This is Perfect“, Terry Moronbrain, a ‘journalist’ from The Sun, explained. “The Government can get more money in and we can use the story to help bolster our racist / anti-immigration / anti-europe / political correctness agendas. I have already prepared a brilliant article that is bound to incite racial hatred amongst our readership!

You Couldn’t Make it Up
Richard Littlejohn, from the Daily Mail was also quick to respond to this name change, “It’s political correctness gone mad“, he bleated before getting stuck in a loop of his own clichéd and ridiculous catchphrases. “You couldn’t make it up, hi-viz jackets, elf ‘n safety, dopey bird, Jimmy Saville, You couldn’t make it up, hi-viz jackets, elf ‘n safety, dopey bird, Jimmy Saville, You couldn’t make it up, hi-viz jackets, elf ‘n safety, dopey bird, Jimmy Saville etc…

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