For well over half the population, including those ineligible to vote, the prospect of Brexit and a Donald Trump win is already difficult enough to deal with. However the situation has been made much worse by Nigel Farage’s fucking face that keeps popping up like an unwelcome turd that fails to flush away.
Opportunistic Little Twat
The opportunistic little twat, who thanks to his own meddling, can no longer scam money from the EU, has spent the last few days cozying up to fellow twat, Donald Trump.
“For a while Nigel Farage disappeared from our television screens, after doing really badly in the 2015 general election,” explained Juniper Beastlychin, a park keeper from Hull. “It was great, even his appearances on panel shows dwindled.“
“But then Brexit happened and his fucking face was everywhere,” she added.
Money Making Opportunity
After Brexit, Mr Farage promised to step down to spend more time with his family. Unfortunately for the British public his family didn’t want to see his fucking face either,so tragically he decided to re-enter the public domain.
The Druid’s Loom approached, Gary Supremacist, a spokesMAN for Donald Trump, and asked what the new president had in store for Nigel. “Who?“, he asked “Oh, yeah right him – the guy with the massive mouth. He’s the self-important gobshite that stinks of cigarettes and has crooked yellow teeth. We have nothing in store for him – he came in asking for a job as EU ambassador or something – Mr Trump told him to go fuck himself and his fucking face.“