Fifty Shades of Stretchmarks

Bolton woman, Em Bryo, has been offered the opportunity of a lifetime penning her own book, Fifty Shades of Stretchmarks, which is released this August by Pethidine Publishing Limited. Miss Bryo gives us an insight of what inspired her to write her very first book.

A Bolton woman who has 15 children with 13 different fathers has landed herself a lucrative book deal and says it is the most amazing opportunity of her life.

15th Child
Emily Bryo; 46, known as Em Bryo by friends; began penning, Fifty Shades of Stretchmarks, last year when she met the father of her 15th child; Jack Hough.

Big Whopper
“I remember the consummation well!” commented Miss Bryo, “We were in the toilets at Burger King, and I always laugh when I talk about it because I tell everyone I didn’t have one; but two big whoppers that night!

Life though isn’t easy for Em Bryo. Her mother, Fee Tull, 72, told our reporter at The Druids Loom that her daughter has struggled for years. “She’s always had it hard; but will bend over backwards for anyone… which is why she’s got 15 kids!”

Unfortunately, Miss Station and Mr Hough separated fifteen minutes after she had given birth to their youngest son, Caesar Ian; who is now 10 months old.

Clear Blue
Mr Hough was unavailable for comment and is currently serving a 12-month prison sentence for selling knocked off Clear-Blue pregnancy test kits.
Jack had an addiction problem,” Em Bryo explains, “He was always tripping and off his head on Folic Acid. He needed the money to fund his habit. We had a massive row and split up straight after, Caesar Ian, was born because he was tripping off the gas and air saying my stomach looked like the London Tube Station.

Car-Boot
Fifty Shades of Stretchmarks is due out on August 26th and Miss Bryo said it is truly written from the heart. “My stretchmarks are like tattoo’s. Even though they bare no names of my lovers; I know which man created which stretchmark.”

Miss Bryo will be book signing at all local car-boot sales across the region. Dates to be announced soon.

Dedicated to my special friend, Aaron McKinney

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