Hard nuts and gritty raisins
Jayden explained this morning, “I don’t even like Christmas cake, it’s far too filling to eat over the festive period. They are always full of really hard nuts, and gritty raisins that give me the shits. The only reason why we have it at all is because my mum makes one for each of her children.”
However, on the morning of 26th January, a hung over Jayden succumbed to the traditional yuletide treat.
Couldn’t be arsed
“I had the shakes and was craving sugar badly. On searching through the cupboards all I could find was dried pasta, and a few ‘Jacobs Cream Crackers’ that had gone all soft where the packet had been left open.” Jayden explained. “Ideally I would have had a can of Coke and a Double Decker, but that would have involved going down the shops, and I couldn’t be arsed”.
Later that day, whilst sat on the toilet with stomach cramps, Jayden defended his decision not to throw the cake away. “My mum baked it, you can’t just chuck it away can you? It’s just not right”.