As retailers slash orders for the once popular game of Backgammon, games manufacturers have reacted with dismay.
Gammon vs Backgammon
In a statement issued via an industry journal, renowned games manufacturers Waddington’s publicity manager Cory Dandruff, told the Druid’s Loom.
“We have manufactured Backgammon boards for over one hundred years, with great success. Indeed, it is a family favourite with a history stretching back over 5,000 years,” Mr Dandruff explained.
“However, Gammon has now become such a toxic term that recent sales and future orders of our Backgammon sets have plummeted. Considering this, we no longer wish to associate our name with the production of anything related to gammon – however tenuous the link may be,” he continued.
“Jobs and dividends depend on our good standing, and we believe that our hard-earned reputation will be damaged if we do not distance our organisation from men that demonstrate gammon characteristics,” Mr Dandruff added.
When we asked Mr Dandruff what in particular these characteristics he explained “Basically it is the appearance of a particularly rotund and opinionated town-crier, a rabid proponent of Brexit, and meat-like complexion. They have an obsession with immigration, and are in a permanent state of rage over a world in which PC has apparently ‘gone mad’.“
“They also have the visible, physical manifestation of advanced cardiovascular disease,” he concluded.