God Doesn’t Give a Shit About Brexit

The Lord Almighty revealed yesterday that he really doesn't give a shit about Brexit, and as he gave mankind free-will, it is pretty much up to them to deal with this kind of crap.

"Better Things to Do" - God, yesterday
“Better Things to Do” – God, yesterday
PeteLinforth / Pixabay

As all encompassing creator of the entire universe, God has announced that he has far better things to do than be guiding the British Prime Minister, through the total Brexit fuck up.

Press Conference
In a press conference yesterday, the all powerful deity described his annoyance at being brought into something that he has nothing to do with.

I gave mankind free-will precisely so I didn’t have to deal with shit like this,” the Lord told the Druid’s Loom. “It was my way of delegating responsibility, so I could get on with more important stuff like sorting out famine in Africa.

With the whole universe to preside over, our creator needs to ensure that we can deal with our own affairs.

In a cosmos of this unimaginable size, planets need creating and destroying all the time. I really don’t have time, to guide Mrs May through this Brexit bollocks. If I did, do you think I would allow her to give tax breaks to the rich, whilst reducing benefits for the poor and disabled, putting hundreds and children below the poverty line?” the celestial being explained.

If she wants to do evil shit like that, she’s on her own!”

“As for Brexit, why not let that fat bloke, that looks like a confused scarecrow to help. What’s his name? Oh, yes – Boris Johnson – he was all for the idea at the time wasn’t he?” our holy saviour added.

Our reporter asked God to sum up his feelings, before he had to rush of an answer the prayers of  Donald Trump.

It’s hilarious,” the supreme being chuckled. “Trump is shitting himself as it has dawned on him he has no idea of how to run a country! I’m going to have fun watching this.

Anyway, to sum up Brexit in answer to your question , I would probably have voted to remain in the EU.


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