Heavy Wardrobe

For Sale
Heavy Dark Wood Single Wardrobe – £40 

Buyer
Hi, I’m interested in buying your Heavy dark wood single wardrobe. Can you tell me how heavy it actually is?

Seller
I can move it on own but to get it out of house n into vehicle wud require 2 strong ppl
Buyer
Okay – That’s okay, its for my son at University. The wardrobe in his rented house fell apart when he had sex in it and the landlord refused to replace it.
Seller
It’s a good sturdy wardrobe it’s just in way now as I can’t get up my stairs lol
Buyer
Sounds just what he needs! I can pick this up today, but I have only got a tractor with a  trailer Is where you live suitable for tractors?
Seller
 I dunno possibly have u got Google maps??
Iv asked n I’ve been told easily for a  tractor to come in .

Wot time do u wanna collect??

Buyer
Well I have to drop off some cattle at 3pm in [nearby town] – so about 4pm
Seller
That’s cool, my address is [their address]
Buyer
Okay – I’ll phone the abattoir and see if they will take my cows early, then I won’t be late.
 Seller
Ok cool c u l8r
 Buyer
OMG, I’m going to be late, my cows have escaped and are running free all around the village.
Seller
That’s ok I aint goin nowhere lol
 Buyer
i wish I could say the same about my cows
 Seller
Lol how many??
 Buyer
Six
Seller
At least it’s not a bigger herd lol
Buyer
OMG im not going to make it. the cows have caused a Pile up between 3 cars and a truck. Two have had to be shot by police marksmen.

There are children crying!

Its horrible

Im sorry

Seller

It’s ok u can collect l8r on if better f u as I’m in anyways

Buyer
Do you want to swap the wardrobe for some steaks? They are very fresh?

Seller
STOP WASTING MY TIME!!