Hi-De-Hi set for a big screen comeback

Hot on the heels of the cinematic release of "Dad's Army", the latest Perry/Croft classic to hit the big screen, is 1980's favourite - Hi-De-Hi.

Hi-De-Hi Remake
Hi-De-Ho – Classic Comeback
Image Courtesy of DreCube at Dutch Wikipedia Distributed under the CC-BYSA3.0 License.

Fans of the popular 1980’s hit TV sitcom “Hi-De-Hi” reacted with excitement at the news that it going to be remade for cinema. This follows on from the success of the “Dad’s Army” big screen release earlier this year.

Term Time Only

In a bold move away from the “Dad’s Army” film; that stayed true to the original format; the new Hi-De-Hi release, will be updated to the more modern setting of a forest based holiday camp. Although Maplins, will now be renamed Forest Parkz it will still feature characterless accommodation in a bland setting. Campers (or “guests” as they are known in the film), will be able to have a 5 day break for just £235 (term time only), raising to £2400 in the school holidays.

Supplementary Fees Apply

In the modern camp, guests prefer not to be woken up or given instructions over a speaker system, so the term Hi-De-Hi, will be their wi-fi password  (£2 per hour or £20 per day), that will take them to Parkz Portal. This will show them all of the events that they can partake in during their stay and any supplementary fees that apply to individual events.

Classic activities, such as “throwing the camp comic in the pool” and the “Beauty Contests” have been ditched due to health and safety reasons or for not being politically correct. They been replaced with a looped film of classic YouTube comedy clips for just £2.50 per person  and Xbox parties in the games room, only £3 per hour!

Contracted Cleaning Services

Hardcore fans will be disappointed that two of the show’s best loved characters wont be featuring in the remake. According to the lead script writer Christopher Clump “times have changed and some of the original personalities don’t fit in to the modern holiday experience”.
Cheeky camp host Ted Bovis, with his mildly sexist act and gentle innuendo, is a definite no no in Forest Parkz. He has been replaced with Gwen Bright, the camp child protection officer.
Scatty chalet maid, Peggy, also got the chop from this updated production.
“In a forest holiday camp today, with a tight profit margin, all cleaning services are contracted out to CleanCampz, who supply a rotation of agency cleaning staff” Mr Clump explained.

Hi-De-Viz
Hi-De-Viz – Even the “Yellow Coat” has been updated
Image Courtesy of Magnus Mertens – distributed under the CC-BYSA2.0 License

Yellow Coat

Regular viewers of the series will also notice that the familiar “Yellow Coat”, has been updated to reflect a more safety conscious society. It is now a high visibility yellow vest worn over the top of a bland corporate suit. The “Yellow Coat” staff remain as jovial and quirky as ever, but all additional services, such as “wake up calls”, “directions to activities” or “general camp information”, are only available as a paid extra.

Hi-De-Hi – The Movie, is due to be released 10th May 2016.

Do you have ill informed or inappropriate views to share with the world? Why not leave a "Reader's Comment"?

  Subscribe  
newest oldest most voted
Notify of

Looking forward to the movie. About time someone made a movie about real life things rather than about aliens and planets. Who believes in that!!

Mrs D Truth, how dare you say no one believes in aliens and planets…

… After all, what do we live on? Definitely not that spherical planety thing. You silly sausage!

I can’t wait. I used to love Hi-De-Hi. It’s going to be brilliant. “Hello Campers! Hi-de-Hi”.

If you like a lot of chocolate on your biscuit join our club! Beware of the wombats, Uncle Woggly!