The housing ladder was accused of taking the piss yesterday, when first-time buyers realised that it is a concept that exists only in the minds of the baby boomers and lying politicians.
“Theresa May, stood up in the House of Commons, and patronisingly said that she was going to throw some loose change at those struggling to get on the housing ladder,” millennial Carley Hartman told The Druid’s Loom. “During that 10 minute speech house prices rose by 3% wiping out the deposit I saved over the last year.“
8 ’til Late
Like many millennials, Carley has worked exceptionally hard through an increasingly fragmented education system, to get on an exclusive University course,which left her with a £45,000 debt. She now works for a conveyancing firm on about £23,000 pa, from 8 until 8, and sometimes gets half an hour for lunch.
Carley lives in a shared house with 5 others, that borders on not being fit for human habitation. Each member of the household pays their arse-hole landlord the equivalent of his mortgage each month. In return he uses legal loopholes, encouraged by the Conservative government, to avoid any property maintenance whatsoever.
“People say I should be saving for things like a pension – it’s just my pension age is about 85 now, so I don’t see the point. Interest rates are so low and house prices are rising so fast, in real terms I actually lose money on everything I save,” Carley explained.
Many people, however think this generation are just feckless time wasters
“Millennials are so lazy“, explained Daily Mail reader George Turtlehead, from his 7 bedroom detached house, which due to the luck of the markets he bought for £6 at the beginning of the 80’s. “They just expect to be given everything. My son, can’t afford a house and has asked if he can move back here.“
“Well he can bugger off. I didn’t get a free degree, cushy 9-5 job,massive fuck-off pension at 45, free bus travel, free TV license to have him come along and sponge off me,” he added, before ranting about immigration or something.