Humans No Longer Considered World’s Most Intelligent Species

After a raft new evidence has come to light scientists have discovered that the intellectual capacity of human beings is below that of tinea pedis; the fungus that causes Athletes Foot.

Athletes Foot - Not Voting for Donald Trump - Yesterday
Athletes Foot – Not Voting for Donald Trump – Yesterday
Public Domain Image

For many thousands of years Homo sapiens, have been considered to be the most intelligent organisms on planet Earth. However, over recent months new evidence has been found and analysed that disproves this theory.

Brexit Shit
First there was the UK referendum, where swathes of the population were whipped up into a frenzy by racist bigots such as Nigel Farage, and Katie Hopkins, and then that Brexit shit happened,” explained leading intelligence scientist Finn Dunklepunk.

Bullshit
Humans like to think of themselves as sentient free thinkers, but it is clear they are not really able to think for themselves at all,” he continued. “If someone shouts loud enough they will believe any bullshit that is fed to them.

Scientists have now reordered the species intelligence list, putting Apes and Dolphins at the top of the list.

Fungus
The biggest surprise was how low down the list humans have fallen, we are now nestling beneath the fungus that causes athletes foot,” Dr Dunklepunk said with an element of despair in his voice.

The Druid’s Loom approached Tinea pedis, and asked their opinion.

Retarded
I am a saprophytic fungus, that feeds off the cheese between people’s toes. I have no external senses, and no ability to think openly or problem solve,” it explained. “But at least I’m not retarded enough to vote for Donald Trump.

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