After spreading racist propaganda to persuade people to vote to leave the european union, Nigel Farage has decided that it’s probably going to fuck up the country and it’s best to leave.
Fortunately for Nigel, he has plenty of money, so he can afford to ‘shit on his own doorstep’ and then just bugger off somewhere else, with an even bigger doorstep to defecate on.
Leave voter, George Buttplugge expressed his dismay to the Druid’s Loom.
“I am a business owner, running a small haulage company. I voted to leave the EU, because Mr Farage told me that immigrants would come over and eat my children or something. Today I find out that Mr Farage, is planning on becoming an immigrant himself. My tiny brain can’t even comprehend what that even means.”
“Now I am stuck with by running costs increasing daily, and I have lost a big contract I had with a French company. The fucking bastard,” he added.
Donald Trump’s Arse
A spokesperson for Mr Farage told the Druid’s Loom, “Nigel realised his actions are going to fuck up the British economy for a decade or so and some of his vast wealth was at risk. He has therefore decided to move away and kiss Donald Trump’s arse, until it becomes okay again. “
“We know that just a few months ago he was banging on about being a nationalist and stuff, but you are forgetting one very important factor here. Farage is a complete cunt,” he concluded.
The former UKIP ‘leader’, was unavailable for comment when approach by the Druid’s Loom, about behaviour that can only be described as cowardice and desertion. Apparently he was down the pub, shovelling pints into his huge fucking grinning mouth.
Remain voter, Carrie Rubag explained, “The result from the referendum sent me into shock for a few days. To be honest I couldn’t see any good could come of it. However, if Nigel Farage fucks off to America – then the whole Brexit thing may have been a good thing after all.“