“I Can’t Understand Maths and English Focus”, says Ofsted Head

The Chief Inspector of Schools, Sir Michael Wilshaw, remains totally bemused at why primary schools have spent years focusing on English and Maths subjects, to the detriment of others.

Ungrateful Lazy Teachers
I Just Like Messing with Teacher’s Minds! – Sir Michael Wilshaw

For a number of years, many primary schools have been sidelining subjects such as Science, Art, History and Geography. Instead they have been putting all their efforts into English and Maths. Yesterday the Chief Inspector of Ofsted told the Druid’s Loom, that he can’t understand why this is and it has to end.

External Force
It’s really strange that schools have chosen to focus on these two subjects,” Mr Wilshaw announced. “There is a common pattern amongst Primary schools where they devote an inordinate amount of time to these subjects compared to all the others. It’s almost as though they have been put under pressure to concentrate on these by some external force,” he continued with exasperation in his voice.

Damn Lazy
Mr Wilshaw then went on to explain his thoughts on the subject.

Obviously students have SATs exams in these subjects. And if they do badly at these Ofsted will come in and totally fuck the school over – but that can’t possibly be the reason, can it?” he postulated. “Moreover I think its just that the teachers are too damn lazy to learn all the stuff required to give these students a broad and balanced education.

Fun Part
The Druid’s Loom asked Mr Wilshaw what he intends to do about this worrying pattern emerging in primary schools.

This is the fun part,” he explained. “Ofsted will now be able to really mess with teachers and slam them for neglecting other subjects. It’s so funny watching them get all pissed off and stuff – lol! By the time we have finished with them they won’t even know what day of the week it is, let alone what subjects to teach,” he added, smirking to himself.

Prison Education
Our reporter then asked Mr Wilshaw if this meant that Ofsted would be reducing the pressure on schools to keep improving English and Maths progress.

Oh, of course not,” Mr Wilshaw told us. “If any thing we will up the pressure. For every student who doesn’t make the required progress in their SATs we will pick a teacher at random, and force them to work in Prison Education for a year.”

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