ISIS – ‘We’re Not Going to Bother with Euro 2016’

Terror organisation, ISIS, has announced today that they are not going to bother attacking  Euro 2016, as 'fans' are already doing a pretty good trashing the competition themselves.

ISIS - "Football Hooligans Doing Our Work For Us"
ISIS – “Football Hooligans Doing Our Work For Us”
Image Courtesy of Liondertoi Under the CC BY-SA 4.0 License

ISIS have decided that there really is no point in attacking any of the Euro 2016 games, as the visiting fans are doing a good enough job and wrecking the proceedings anyway.

Easy Target
A spokesman for ISIS told the Druid’s Loom, “We have been looking at possible windows in which to create terror and panic at the various world cup sites. A target such as this is relatively easy, as there are so many people of different nationalities in the at the various games. It also has a lot of coverage, so it would enable us to get our message of hate and fear across.

Shit Going Down
However, having watched all the shit going down down between rival fans there seems little point in us wasting our resources,” he added.

Evacuating His Bowels
Football Hooligan, Bryce Bollockmuffin responded drunkenly, “I’m gonna f-f-f-fuckin’ kick yer heads in, you wankers” before collapsing in a pool of his own vomit and involuntarily evacuating his bowels.

Four Russian fans then rushed him, kicking him in the stomach and rupturing his spleen. They then punched our reporter and broke a few shop windows.

Meanwhile all the countries that are due to host games in Euro 2020 are having second thoughts.

 

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