Islands in the Stream

Ever wanted to escape to a little island to hide from your wife's wrath? Well, thanks to Robin Brook, now you can.

Robin's slice of wifeless paradise.
Robin’s slice of wifeless paradise.
Image Courtesy of Shaun Weldon

Robin Brook has done something remarkable to help the men in his community and has been named a saviour as a result.

Tree Planting
Robin, a landscaper by trade, has utilized his gravel laying skills and knowledge of tree planting, and built an island in the middle of a local river for guys that are in the same boat as him in regards to home life and relationships.

River Island
Mr Brook says that the respite resort, simply named “River Island”, is a place where men can escape to relax when their wives are on their case. The island is easily accessible and there is enough standing room for approximately twelve men. Robin however, is limiting the number of inhabitants to five in case folk want to play Twister or hide and seek, or maybe invite their mistresses over for a roll on the gravel.

Robin tells us about his decision to create this haven.

The idea came to me last week when I was watching Castaway, that Tom Hanks film where his best mate is a football and he pulls his own teeth out. I just thought, wouldn’t it be great if I could piss off to my own little island when the wife is pecking my head, which is at least three times a day,” Mr Brook explained.  “Being in the landscaping trade I had the skills and supplies to build my own island, so I come up with a plan and got to work.
Passers-by laughed as I was laying the foundations of my island…I’m not sure if they thought what I was doing was ridiculous or they were laughing at my arse crack hanging out. I gave them the middle finger and carried on.”

Frock
It took me a full day but I did it, I had built a sanctuary, I just needed a Wilson. Best part is, if the fellas tell their wives that they are going to River Island, there won’t be any questions because they will think they’re being treated to a new frock,” he added.

Robin’s Son Crusoe
Robin’s son, Crusoe, said that his dad has done a fantastic job building the island, he hopes one day he will hand it down to him so that he can start his own tribe of cannibals that live off river ducks and the occasional council litter picker off the river bank.

A number of local men have signed up to join Robin on River Island, they have congratulated him on reclaiming his balls and standing on his own two feet as an independent man, no longer will he cower in the corner with his tail between his legs when his wife is on one. One man said he wishes he had the courage of Robin, but his wife won’t allow it.

Hide the Sausage
Robin’s wife thinks he is a laughing stock.
I just leave him to it, he’s an idiot. I seen him and his shit bag mates on the island yesterday, as I passed over the bridge I shouted him, they all stood up and looked at me like a bunch of threatened meerkats all huddled together. It’s ok, while he’s dicking about playing castaway on his pile of stones, I’m playing hide the sausage with the window cleaner,” she explained.

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