John Bercow Stuck in Notting Hill Carnival Traffic

John Bercow, Speaker of the House of Commons, had a very surprising and lengthy trip to the laundrette, during the Notting Hill Carnival.

Some Beans, Enjoying the Notting Hill Carnival, Yesterday
Some Beans, Enjoying the Notting Hill Carnival, Yesterday
orenmajar / Pixabay

Speaker of the house of commons John Bercow and his wife Sally were unwittingly caught up in the Notting Hill carnival, while attempting to take a short cut to the laundry in their car.

Bercow Forgot Carnival was On.

Bercow commented, “My wife and I completely forgot the event was on. I’m fully aware that Notting Hill is a cultural institution that celebrates Caribbean history in England, but getting jammed between lorries full of flag waving, hysterical dancing groups adorned with giant wings, and an army of screaming kettle drummers with plastic monsters stuck on their heads is not my idea of fun. My wife accused me of being a killjoy, and that I had no appreciation of artistic expression. I told her that I do, but not if that includes a platoon of over-exited party people in insect dress, being chased by a swarm of police officers to the decibel drum and bass equivalent of the apocalypse. If you’re intent on having a nervous breakdown while banging a drum amid a civil disturbance akin to that of a world war, it’s probably wise to relegate such compulsions solely to the context of one’s imagination”.


Bercow went on – “I’m not anti-carnival, I just think that kids these days don’t know what a real party is. Imagine the scenario: the queen’s jubilee 1977 – every street in England had a party. You should have seen our cul-de-sac rave up. There was so much jelly and ice cream you could have had a celebration. My uncle yelled ‘what complete nutter fancies listening to a bit of Showaddywaddy?’.

Ham and Cheese Rolls

There were other issues. ‘Under The Moon Of Love’ blasted out of his radio and neighbours Tom and Sylvia jived on top of the eating tables – ham and cheese rolls flew into the ether as banjo Dave tore into a drunken version of the national anthem. Sister Nelly was so inebriated she took both shoes off. Anyway his ‘short cut’ to the laundry backfired”.

Unblemished Service

Bercow broke down in tears – “I was devastated when our washing machine broke. It broke my heart and broke my machine: twenty two years of unblemished service. I will never forget its final spin – I gave it a good send off. I gave it an unforgettable spin in a final send off. I’ll never forget that good spin send off. I gave it a good final spin in a send off I’ll never forget”.

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