Ken Dodd Triggers a Tickle 50

Britain was thrown into chaos today as Ken Dodd tickled the Prime Minister into submission and accidentally triggered article 50. Rabid leave fanatic Dodd denies 'dark forces at work'.

Smacked off his tits complexion.
Smacked off his tits complexion.

Pandemonium reigned at a Water Rats charity gala for dead comedian golfers as legendary 112 year old funster Ken Dodd went into a tickling stick frenzy when meeting the Prime Minister.

BY JOVE

The toothy mirth-meister with the smacked off his tits complexion said ” We had a conversation about tax avoidance and then went on to discuss the fine balance needed when combining being Prime Minister and Chief Witch of Slytherin. We got on so well I suddenly said ‘ By jove missus what a marvellous day for triggering Article 50, have some tickle stick. I had no idea I had found her weak spot‘.

ASSAULT AND TICKLERY

Dodd was immediately arrested and charged with assault and ticklery, thus was unavailable for comment. Dodd’s agent 96 year old Barry Cryer protested, ” The Prime Ministers sense of humour is stuff of myth and legend akin to the likes of the Holy Grail. Fiennes, Grylls, Mears and Bush Tucker Man have all searched for it but none have found it, well I’m here to say it was Doddy what did it’ and look at the way he’s treated‘.

BLOODY SODDINGS BUGGERING LAMENTABLES

Chaos ensued in Parliament today with Tim thingymajig Farron saying: “Is it March already, doesn’t time fly?“.Foreign Secretary Boris Johnson said “How the hell is one supposed to do one’s job when one cannot talk to anyone European by law, now she’s triggered 50 it really is bloody soddings, buggerings, lamentables“.

BULLFROG BULLSHIT

Slippery-tongued Great British Bullfrog and President elects BFF Nigel Farage said ‘Donny’s going to piss when he hears this‘, adding ‘Ken Dodd’s dads dogs dead Ken Dodd’s dads dogs dead, see no mistakes, what an exceptional orator and smug shit I really am‘.

HAPPINESS

Ken Dodd’s agent has re-released his hit ‘Happiness’ in an attempt to cheer Dodd up whilst serving twenty years in solitary confinement.

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