Kensington & Chelsea Council Fails to Organise Piss Up in Brewery

A trip to a brewery, for staff working at Kensington & Chelsea Council, lacked significant organisation and resulted in disappointment, the Druid's Loom discovered yesterday.

Kensignton & Chelsea Council - No Piss Ups Here
Kensignton & Chelsea Council – No Piss Ups Here
spooky_kid / Pixabay

Staff at Kensignton & Chelsea Council, were left fuming yesterday, after a summer trip to a brewery,  turned out to be a complete disaster.

Parking Permits
We had been looking forward to it for weeks,” explained Diana Frumpflap, Head of Parking Permits. “The council leaders decided to reward all our hard work by a trip to a brewery, followed by a mother of all piss ups.

However the whole thing was a bloody disaster.” she added.

Bin Collections
Freddie Tumpty, who works in the Fortnightly Bin Collection department was also enraged, by the incredible lack of planning shown by council leaders.

“First of all the coaches didn’t turn up, to take us to the venue,” he moaned.  “It was really annoying as most of us didn’t bring our cars to work, and we had to spend a fucking fortune on taxis,” he said.

Parking Fines
Fortunately there was enough in the Council Parking Fines Account to cover it, so we weren’t out of pocket,” he chuckled.

The problems didn’t stop with the transport however. When the staff arrived, they found the brewery was not expecting them.

Health and Safety
They had no idea we would be arriving,” Mrs Frumpflap told us. “The manager told us they do not; and have never run tours of their establishment. As for drinking out of the barrels, he explained the brewing process required a sterile environment and it would be a complete breach of  company and health and safety policy.”

A spokesman for Kensington & Chelsea Council, Mr Brian Fartworthy, told the Druids Loom, “After some minor transport difficulties, staff went on to have a fantastic afternoon sampling different beverages at the Gold Cross Brewery, anyone who tells you otherwise is spreading fake fucking news.

 

 

 

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