Kentucky Fried Crap – KFC Rebrands After Faeces Found in Food

After a quantity of human excrement was found in the ice at a KFC 'Restaurant' yesterday, the company took immediate action, by re-branding a number of their products.

Kentucky Fried Crap - Arse Licking Good
Fiery Grilled TurdTM – Arse Licking Good
Image Courtesy of Magnus Mansk Under the CC BY2.0 License

Having a unique product is very important for any organisation, and the discovery of fecal matter in food at a KFC branch in Birmingham might just be the thing that sets it apart from other fast-food chains.

Niche
Clive Moobblatter a spokesman for KFC, told the Druid’s Loom “We have always been about chicken, but have struggled to find a niche because other fast food chains also include chicken meals as part of their menu.”

On to a Winnit
“We are constantly looking for that hook, that sets us apart from other food outlets.  As far as I know, McDonalds and Burger King do not serve up shit to their customers – so we may be on to a winner (or should I say winnit – lol),” he explained.

Ring Piece
KFC has now released their updated menu that includes such items as OMG DiahorreaTM,  Fiery Grilled TurdTM (pictured), Popcorn TagnutsTM, Onion RingPiecesTM and of course, from the favourite family bucket range, the Hot & Crispy – Bucket O’ ShiteTM.

Brownie Blast
Mr Moobblatter continued, “We are really excited about our new range of items, that sits comfortably next to our existing menu. A few of our old favourites have been changed just a little bit too, to reflect our new toiletly theme. The ChocoPeanut BoltTM  and the Brownie BlastTM, now include a generous amount of enteric bacteria, to ensure that they really live up to their names!

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