Kim Jong-Un – Anger Management Tips

When it comes to angry, irrational behaviour Kim Jong-Un is one of the world's best. Harmony Blossom, offers some anger management tips, to this plucky, despot mentalist.

Kim Jong Un
An Angry Little Bastard!
Image courtesy of Zennie Abraham – Under the CC BY-ND2.0 License

Being a the supreme leader of a country is difficult stressful work, But Kim,  you really do need to calm down don’t you?If you are not feeding your uncle to a pack of dogs, you are obliterating your generals with anti-aircraft guns.
This kind of behaviour will win you no real friends in the long run and needs to be addressed, as being constantly angry like this will affect your long-term health.


There are some very simple techniques you can follow so keep yourself calm, so next time you plan to execute some terrapin farmers, because the terrapins died, take heed.

Count to ten

One of the easiest things you can do, before acting on your thoughts is to count to ten. It may sound like an old wives tale, but it really does work. So next time you plan to test some long-range missiles, stop for a moment. Take a deep breath and count slowly from one to ten (backwards if you prefer). You will find you will be able to think a lot more clearly.

Maybe then, instead of ordering your ex-girlfriend to be shot, for appearing in a risqué pop video, you can just let her off with a warning instead?

Dear Leader

Anger is a very destructive emotion, and not conducive to being the “dear leader”, of a whole country. You need a clear head, and relaxed thoughts. Below I have compiled a handy guide to help your on a journey to your calm inner self.

Harmony’s Tips for Inner Harmony 

  1. Think before you speak (counting to ten like I mentioned above)
  2. Once you have calmed down, find a more constructive way to channel your anger. Perhaps,  well constructed letter to the perpetrator, or maybe, if its is a larger issue, keep a blog.
  3. Get regular exercise. It is true to say you have put on a few pounds since becoming leader. Exercise and fresh air can reduce stress and the associated anger. So next time you get the urge to torture dissidents; go for a stroll in the rice fields.
  4. Give yourself timeout. Yes, it must be tough being the supreme leader of a country. Give yourself time to relax. Visit a spa, or take a a new hobby. I have heard knitting can be especially therapeutic.
  5. Don’t hold grudges. It is easy to remain angry at someone who has wronged you. But tempers can flare and international relations can be in tatters, when you start testing nuclear weapons. Sit down and have a conversation with South Korea – perhaps organise a non-threatening get together – Barn Dances are always fun. Avoid competitive activities like – 10-Pin Bowling or Laser Quest though!

Have a go at some of these Kim, and see how you get on! I am looking forward to seeing how your new calmer leadership skills develop.

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Mrs B Hart
February 8, 2016 17:24

We could all learn a lot from Kim Jong-Un. I bet crime is at an all time low in North Career. Better than the tidal wave of crime brought to us by “immigration”. Thanks Nu Labour. VOTE UKIP

February 8, 2016 17:25

Mrs B Hart – You have some serious problems. So much is wrong with what you have just written!