A horrified Lincoln man has discovered a dead man`s chin
in his local phone box.
Ivor Dick, 53 told The Druid’s Loom – “It was the most shocking thing I’ve ever seen. I’ve been in some filthy phone boxes in my time but this particular phone box surpassed all others in the filth league – a league of filth in a league of its own filth. A filthy league that surpassed all filthy leagues of phone box filthy league filth.”
Rat Swimming in Gravy
“There was an aroma of stale urine in there, a half eaten kebab, a blow up doll hanging from the ceiling with a cigar stuck up one of the nostrils, a rat swimming in gravy and snot, and there was a dead man’s chin left lying on top of the telephone directory. “
Mr Dick went to to explain how he called the Police. “I called the police and the officer asked me if I recognised the chin. I rolled it over to examine it further and said ‘no’. I explained to the officer that I was not a qualified dead severed chin examiner – not an avid follower of dead severed chins, not employed by the dead severed chin industry, not a stalwart member of the dead severed chin society, not a keen reader of The Dead Severed Chin Monthly, in the round – just not a dead severed chin kind of bloke.”
“The officer then asked me what my main concern was regarding the chin. I told him my main concern was the fact that the chin was actually there – staring at me all spotty and strange. The sheer fact that there was a chin in a filthy phone box in a filthy league of its own filth. A filthy league that surpassed all filthy leagues of phone box filthy league filth. The officer asked me if the chin was hairier than mine – I confirmed to him it was and he told me I was lucky to have an un-severed chin but it sounded like I’d had a close shave”.