Richard Littlejohn, literally lost his shit today in a totally bizarre article about the same subject.
Littlejohn, who earns around £800,000 a year to vilify murdered prostitutes and bully transgendered people in his column – couldn’t think about what to write today – so he made some crap about sewage. You couldn’t make it up; but he did!
“I always enjoy Littlejohn’s unique brand of mildly racist, homophobic and sexist humour,” explained Gray Crabpube, a moron from Surrey. “His juvenile way of writing that relies on some very tired catchphrases, clichéd stereotypes and harking back to fucking 1970’s sitcoms, always as me in stitches.“
“However, even I was left scratching my head by this latest offering. He came up with some bizarre idea, to sift through human excrement, in order to determine the number of illegal immigrants living in a house,” he added.
In his ‘article’ Mr Littlejohn then proceeded to use toilet pun after toilet pun, and ramble on about snorkeling in shit.
Rummaging in Shit
“I was very disappointed by today’s offering from Littlejohn,” explained Clare Grumbleminge, another idiot. “I look forward to hearing about ‘elf n safety’, and political correctness going mad. When he referrers to a woman in a position of power as a ‘dopey bird’, I always piss my knickers laughing. However, even I don’t was to hear about his quite frankly disturbing fantasy that involves rummaging in shit.”
“Still he redeemed himself at the end of his column, when he made some sexist remark about the offside rule,” she explained happily.