Our fairground correspondent was at the scene and was able to highlight the story in full detail.
I said, ‘Surely clamping and ligating the right spermatic cord is a violation that contravenes fairground policy regarding sex changes of this nature. The continued incision up the ventral side of the shaft is misplaced and somewhat tasteless in my opinion. I had no prior knowledge I would be subjected to a demonstration that develops genital skin to the anterior flap.’
I continued to remonstrate with the surgeon, ‘This sir is an imposition upon my squeamish disposition, and though this encounter may be transitory I have no desire to witness any form of body part separation that assures a fleshy stump. I wholly disapprove of your perennial dissection as I’ve always been a firm believer that fairground rides and sex change operations cannot co-exist aesthetically or emotionally. Your perforation of the anterior flap undermines the innocent frivolity spectacle the fairground industry endeavours to convey. Suturing the skin flaps and placing them in a new position may be a medical phenomenon, but I am not enamoured by the indiscrete method you have utilised within the public arena here today.’
I felt it was important to add, ‘An operation of this kind – performed at an extreme velocity was always going to cause an unforeseen onslaught of discarded testicles to impale upon the forehead of a stander-by – in this case it is I. In light of this I feel I must contact the necessary authorities and report you for medical negligence’. The surgeon replied, “Oh you’re just prejudice against surgeons that chop penis’ off on fairground rides.”