Man’s Train Journey More Important than NHS

Discrepancies over the account of the number of seats available on a fucking train are deemed more important than a report highlighting the dangers of the 7 Day NHS plans, it emerged yesterday.

Trains - More Important Than Your Health Apparently
Trains – More Important Than Your Health Apparently
Image Courtesy of Wikipedia Under the CC BY-SA 3.0 license

It has been dubbed the ‘battle of the Jeremy’s’.

Flawed and Dangerous
As one Jeremy sat on the floor of a train, with very few seats, so he could work with his team, the other received an independent report that described his plans for the NHS as flawed and dangerous.

For some reason, it is Jeremy Corbyn’s train sitting antics that have captured the interest of the British Media.

How fucking dare Mr Corbyn sit on the floor of a  train and wish to do work in preparation for a meeting,” explained irate newspaper editor Paul Dacre. “What a complete bastard. I think me and my fellow newspaper editors need to make sure he is publicly vilified for this heinous act.

Disgusting Shit-Bag
Other editors took up Mr Dacre’s call and were quick to point out what a disgusting shit-bag, Mr Corbyn is.

He actually walked past an empty seat. That makes him worse than a pedophile in my book,” shouted outraged Sun editor, Tony Gallagher. “I think it’s great that Virgin Trains was able to breach the data protection act, and publish this non crime related CCTV footage. If the footage destroys, this train floor sitting monster, then it’s for the greater good.

7 Day NHS
The Druid’s Loom approached Jeremy Hunt, and asked him what he thought of the latest report damming his proposals for the 7 Day NHS.

Train, eww, you wouldn’t catch me on one of those things,” Mr Hunt explained. “If I need to get to a meeting to piss off junior doctors somewhere I either go business class on a plane, or I am privately chauffeured.

I find fucking up the NHS is far easier if I have travelled to my destination in luxury,” he chuckled, ignoring the original question completely,



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