Maplin’s Holiday Camps to Close

Up to 3000 jobs have been put at risk today with the announcement that Maplin's Holiday Camps are set to close. The once popular entertainment centre has blames cheap internet holidays deals and the low value of the pound for their demise.

Hi-De-Hi - Maplins in Holiday Camps - Yesterday
Hi-De-Hi – Maplin’s in Holiday Camps – Yesterday

The holiday industry reacted with sadness today, as the chain of once popular holiday camps, Maplin’s filed for bankruptcy. The closure puts the jobs of over 3000 Yellow Coats, and 150 scatty chalet maids at risk.

Maplin’s – Hi-De-Hi

The classic British holiday resort, where the family could reside in sub-standard accommodation, sit in the pissing rain, whilst playing inane games such as knobbly knees competitions, has finally succumbed to the lure of cheap holiday deals in warm, sunny countries.


I can’t believe that no one wants to visit our holiday camps no more,” said forlorn company boss, Joe Maplin. “It’ should be Hi-de-Hi not Lo-de-Lo” he added, not in anyway being prompted to say that by our reporter..

Fucking Chalet Maid

Ex camper, Barry Gloryhole, shed some light on the demise of the holiday resort. “It was one thing being woken up at the crack of dawn by some old cow on a xylophone, but then to have some fucking chalet maid clattering around really took the biscuit.


The entertainment was shite too. It basically consisted of some failed actor being chucked in the swimming pool, some fat old racist singing and a  old couple doing some shit ballroom dancing,” he explained. “I once accidentally fired a nail gun through my scrotum, and it was more fun than this.

Customers seeking for a refund for their holidays should contact ABTA, who will laugh at them for a bit and put the phone down.


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