Middle Aged Plasterer Thinks It’s All Germany’s Fault

A man who refuses to listen to others believes that Germany is at the cause of every conceivable problem in life and refuses to listen to others who have the nerve to correct him.

A tired and emotional Thompson discussing Germany.
A tired and emotional Thompson discussing Germany.
Leroy_Skalstad / Pixabay – CC0

Dennis Thompson, a 47 year old plasterer thinks every tricky situation is all down to Germany.

Bourbon Biscuits

From hospitals being closed down to his local shop running out of bourbon biscuits, Thompson will always state that it the fault of those idiot Germans because they started the war and his Grandad sustained a minor wound when falling over chasing one of their soldiers.


Best ‘mate’ Dave Jenkins told us ‘There’s no bad situation which Dennis does not blame Germany. When an airline lost his suitcase when he went on holiday, his words were ‘That’s what happens when the paddys take advice from German airline experts because of their so called efficiency – What a load of old tosh!’


Jenkins continued ‘We always try to tell him about Germany’s good points. Beer, sausages and Bayern Munich because they won me a few quid when they won the Champions League. But whatever we try, Dennis is convinced that Germany is evil and tells us all to shut up because he is getting the hump and we wouldn’t like it if he got angry. He even says that that German comedian who is a regular panel member on various TV and radio shows is ‘a waste of time because everybody knows German’s aren’t funny.’


Jenkins went on to say that everybody down the boozer thinks Thompson is an absolute clown anyway and would drink in another pub if they thought he wouldn’t find them. Mr Jenkins then left the interview shaking his head muttering ‘Thompson, that absolute…’ We couldn’t quite hear the rest of the sentence but it didn’t sound positive.

When we told Thompson that everybody thinks he is the town’s biggest tosser, he replied ‘You’re talking rubbish. That’s because you love the Krauts and want to make me look bad because I know the truth about them – and that’s the end of it!’

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