When the HMRC phoned up Mr Grubbymoob and asked to speak to him about a couple of ‘issues’ with his tax return, he politely told them it was a ‘private matter’ and assumed that would be the end of it.
Imagine his surprise, when a week later, his house was raided by tax officials and numerous items, including a laptop and mobile phone were taken away for analysis.
“I was flabbergasted,” My Grubbymoob told the Druid’s Loom, “Only yesterday, David Cameron explained that his tax affairs were a private matter and that seemed to be fine. I explained exactly the same thing; very nicely I thought; and now I have a court appearance in a months time.“
“Not only that, my name has been splashed all over the local newspaper, all my business assets have been frozen and someone keeps posting dog shit through my letter box. If anything it has been a very ‘public matter’“
We asked a spokesman for the HMRC, Desmond Stoneheart, about the difference between the treatment of Julian and David Cameron.
“It is really very simple,” Mr Stoneheart explained, “David Cameron is incredibly rich and powerful and Mr Grubbymoob, is a little turd who forgot to declare some income on his tax return. You have to be harsh with plebs like him, to set an example to others“