My Tax Affairs Don’t Appear to be ‘Private Matter’ – says Llandudno Man

Julian Grubbymoob, a self employed web designer from Llandudno, was surprised to discover that his tax affairs were far from a 'private matter', when a discrepancy was discovered on his tax return.

Tax Affairs - Not Private At all!
Tax Affairs – Not Private At all!
WerbeFabrik / Pixabay

When the HMRC phoned up Mr Grubbymoob and  asked to speak to him about a couple of ‘issues’ with his tax return, he politely told them it was a ‘private matter’ and assumed that would be the end of it.

Imagine his surprise, when a week later, his house was raided by tax officials and numerous items, including a laptop and mobile phone were taken away for analysis.

Court appearance
I was flabbergasted,” My Grubbymoob told the Druid’s Loom, “Only yesterday, David Cameron explained that his tax affairs were a private matter and that seemed to be fine. I explained exactly the same thing; very nicely I thought; and now I have a court appearance in a months time.

Dog Shit
Not only that, my name has been splashed all over the local newspaper, all my business assets have been frozen and someone keeps posting dog shit through my letter box. If anything it has been a very ‘public matter’

We asked a spokesman for the HMRC, Desmond Stoneheart, about the difference between the treatment of Julian and David Cameron.

Little Turd
It is really very simple,” Mr Stoneheart explained, “David Cameron is incredibly rich and powerful and Mr Grubbymoob, is a little turd who forgot to declare some income on his tax return. You have to be harsh with plebs like him, to set an example to others


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Tom, london
April 5, 2016 15:28

I personally thing that rich people shouldn’t have to pay tax.

If a million poor people pay £5 that’s 5 million and they probably wouldn’t notice it… Just a couple fewer microwave meals.

I am very rich however and whilst I could afford I pay £5million in tax, I don’t want to and don’t see why I should.

Money = Power , Privilage and Rights! If you don’t like it get a proper fucking job!!

April 6, 2016 11:32
Reply to  Tom, london

So inheriting a pile of money from daddy is a “proper job” is it?