It’s starting to snow, the first of the season and the first I have seen for years. My friend and I watched the fluffy soft flakes gently drift; clinging to the trees and covering the ground, its so peaceful.
We awoke to a lovely blanket of crystal white glistening snow covering as far as the eye could see, what a fantastic sight. Every tree and bush covered with a beautiful white mantle. I shovelled snow for the first time ever and I loved it. I did both our driveway and the pavement. Later that day a snow plough came along and accidentally covered up our driveway with compacted snow from the street, the driver smiled and waved. I waved back and shovelled it away again, the children next door built a snowman with coal for eyes and a carrot for a nose, and had a snowball fight. A couple just missed me and hit the car so I threw a couple back.
It snowed an additional 5 inches last night and the temperature dropped to around minus 8 degrees. Several branches on our trees and bushes snapped due to the weight of the snow. I shovelled the driveway again, shortly afterwards the snow plough came by and did his little trick again. Much of the snow is now a brownish grey.
Warmed up enough during the day to create some slush which soon became ice when the temperature dropped again. I brought snow tyres for the car, fell on my arse in the driveway. I went to A&E but nothing was broken.
Still cold. I sold the car and bought a 4×4 to get myself to work. I slid into a wall and did considerable damage to the right wing, had another 8 inches of white shite last night. The 4×4 is covered in salt and iced up slush that the bastard snow plough threw up twice today. Where’s that bloody shovel.
More bloody snow. There’s not a tree or bush on our property that hasn’t been damaged. The power was off most of the night, tried to keep from freezing to death with candles and a paraffin heater which tipped over and nearly torched the house. I managed to put the flames out but suffered 2nd degree burns on my hands. I lost all my eyebrows and eyelashes. The car was involved in an accident on the way to casualty and was written off.
The bastard white shite just keeps falling. I have to put every article of clothing on just to go to the post office. The little shits next door ambushed me with snowballs on the way back. If I ever catch the arsehole that drives the snow plough I’ll chew open his chest and rip out his heart with my teeth. I think he hides around the corner and waits for me to finish shovelling.
Sixteen more sodding inches of bastard snow and ice and sleet and god knows what else fell last night. I am in court in 3 months time for attacking the snow plough driver. I can no longer move my bloody toes, haven’t seen the bloody sun for weeks. It’s minus 20 and more fucking snow forecast.
FUCK THIS I’M MOVING BACK TO COVENTRY