Nation Celebrates as Queen Punches Nick Clegg in Face

Violence broke out at Buckingham Palace today as the Queen put former Lib Dem leader Nick Clegg in a headlock and repeatedly punched him in the face.

Queen Kicked the Shit out of Nick
Queen Kicked the Shit out of Nick
Image Courtesy of Flickr Under the CC BY-ND2.0 License

The pair began fighting after Mr Clegg praised the EU. The Queen is a well-known Eurosceptic and revolutionary Trotskyite.  According to one eye witness the Queen threw a corgi at him, did a back flip, and followed it up with a Thai kick-boxing move.

Rift

Nick Clegg dismissed reports of a rift with the palace as ‘idle tittle-tattle’, but he was unable to explain his black eye and broken nose.

One’s the Mummy

Royal aides tried to intervene as the pair came to blows, but a palace spokesman said she managed quite well on her own.  She was latter spotted jogging in the palace gardens, jabbing the air, and  uttering the phrase – ‘Who’s the mummy? One’s the mummy!’

Jeremy Corbyn has shocked the British establishment by offering his wholehearted support for the monarchy. He said he would happily kneel down before her if she promised to do it again.

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