News

Here are all the News articles published by the Druid’s Loom.

Vince Cable to Relaunch Himself with a New Name

April 19, 2018

Wetherspoons Social Media Blackout Won’t Improve Food

April 17, 2018

I Don't Have a Heart - ThisImage is licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution 2.0 Generic license.

Esther McVey to Have Heart-of-Stone Removed in Operation

April 17, 2018

Ill-wishers gather to await news of Prince Philip’s passing

April 16, 2018

All Slimy and Stinking of Fish - Nigel Farage,

Slimy, Stinking Animal Throws Fish into Thames

March 21, 2018

Hi-De-Hi - Maplins in Holiday Camps - Yesterday

Maplin’s Holiday Camps to Close

February 28, 2018

Damage Suffered by Earthquake in Wales, Earlier Today

Wales Concerned as Oxfam Aid Workers Sent to Earthquake Zone

February 17, 2018

Jeremy Hunt Warns the Public of ‘Cough your Asshole out Craze’

January 13, 2018

Norwegians Decline Offer to Live in Shithole

January 12, 2018

Random Articles from the Archives

Vile Attention Seekers Cash in on Celebrity Deaths

Groups of professional attention seekers and hate-mongers, masquerading as newspaper columnists, have today been criticised for using the trademark acerbic 'reporting', to cash in on celebrity deaths.

The Department of Work and Pensions has Crabbs

Having just rid itself of one itchy parasitic louse, the Department of Work and Pensions was shocked to learn today that it now has crabbs.

Daily Mail Becomes UKIP Propaganda Leaflet

The Daily Mail today became just one big fucking propaganda leaflet for UKIP and Far Right Organisations - targeting middle England with their unique brand of prejudice, hate and fear.

Ill-wishers gather to await news of Prince Philip’s passing

Excited anti-royalists have braved the inclement weather and set up camp outside the Funeral Directors to the Royal Household, eagerly awaiting news on the imminent passing of Prince Philip, the Duke of Edinburgh.