Nicky Morgan Jealous of Jeremy Hunt

Today, Nicky Morgan announced that she is getting increasingly jealous of Jeremy Hunt's ability to piss off the Junior Doctors. As a result she is about to launch an all out assault on the teaching profession.

It's Time to Show Teachers Who is Boss
It’s Time to Show Teachers Who is Boss
Image Courtesy of Policy Exchange Under the CC BY2.0 license

In a press conference today, Mrs Morgan told reporters that she was getting increasingly envious of Jeremy Hunt’s callous disregard for the medical profession and NHS. As a result, she explained that she will be ramping up her efforts to destroy teachers and bring the education system to its knees.

Battle Lines
I’m really not happy that Jeremy is getting all the attention with these doctors having a strike and drawing battle lines and stuff,” she whined. “I WANT a teacher’s strike. I WANT to draw up battle lines. IT’S NOT FAIR,” she continued, as her eyes swivelled into her skull.

Teacher’s Tits
Mrs Morgan then announced a further raft of measures designed to get on teacher’s tits.

First of all, academies are going to happen, SO THERE! You can whinge, moan  and present me with pages of evidence to the contrary, but me and some powerful CEOs from some Multi Academy Trusts are GOING to make it happen,” she blustered, before sticking her tongue out at the camera.

Sterilisation
Mrs Morgan then explained how she is going to tackle the issue of teachers not being able to spend enough time with their families.

Basically, I am going to ban teachers from being able to have families. In order to pass their NQT year, teachers will now also have to be sterilised. Teachers must NOT be giving time up for their own children when they should be working 24/7 with real workers’ offspring!” she screamed.

If that doesn’t make ’em strike – I don’t know what will,” she added, just before her nose began to bleed.

Half a Brain
Shamus Wigglebeard, a teacher from Sussex, told the Druid’s Loom, “In a way I am glad all these policies have been  thought up deliberately to piss us off. It has been a struggle to  comprehend how they could have been worked out by someone with half a brain and a indeed, a soul.

1 Comment threads
1 Thread replies
0 Followers
 
Most reacted comment
Hottest comment thread
2 Comment authors

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

  Subscribe  
newest oldest most voted
Notify of
Dr Samuel Johnson (lexicographer, retired)

“… ability to piss of the Junior Doctors…” IMHO, you are missing one “f” from the word “of” here. It should read:

“… ability to piss ofF the Junior Doctors …”.