North Korea was reeling today after the revelation that Donald Trump would like to open talks with the them, should he become President of the United States.
“This is precisely the reason we are a pariah state,” Yuk Lu Ki, a spokesman for the DPRK Government told the Druid’s Loom. “It means we can stay away from idiots like Donald Trump and just manage our own affairs.“
Donald Trump announced today, “I would speak to him, I would have no problem speaking to him,” referring to Kim Jong Un.
“Our Dear Leader definitely has a problem speaking to him,” Mr Lu Ki confirmed. “For a start he has a really crap haircut, unlike Kim Jong Un. Secondly, the guy terrifies him and he believes he is a global threat to civilisation as we know it. Finally, why doesn’t he just keep his nose out of our business and fuck off,” he shouted angrily.
North Korea believes that any individual who wishes to ban swathes of individuals from entering his country, imprison suspects indefinitely without trial, condone the use of torture and is an advocate of the death penalty; has no place in the modern world.
On hearing the news that Kim Jong Un wouldn’t want to meet with him, Mr Trump huffed and puffed for a bit, turned red, and threatened to sue him. He then called Kim stupid and ranted for ages, repeating himself frequently.