The world of international tennis was rocked today with the announcement that Novak Djokovic’s testicles have issued a law suit against him claiming 50% of his championship winnings.
Millions of Dollars
The legal team supporting his testicles argue that the millions of dollars he has so far won in prize money was only made possible because he has a pair of dangly gonads in his shorts. An angry testicle told Druids Loom.
‘This isn’t about the money, this is about fairness. If he thinks he should be paid more than women tennis players just because he has a tiny pair of goolie-bits, then surely we are entitled to half his prize money? He couldn’t have done it without us.’
Djokovic recently caused controversy when he broke down in tears at a press conference, saying how unfair it was that women players might one day earn as much filthy lucre as he does. A tearful Djokovic told reporters.
Militant Feminism Gone Mad
‘This isn’t about the money, this is about fairness. If men are forced to share prize money with people who don’t have testicles, I foresee a time when I am forced to sell half my fleet of vintage sports cars. It’s militant feminism gone mad!’
Djokovic has appealed for his testicles to abandon their law suit and return to his shorts. Most tennis experts agree that, until they do, his prize money should be halved.