Official: Radio Adverts Cause Blindness and Insanity

The Health and Safety Executive has announced plans to close all local radio stations after listeners went crazy because they failed to hurry-on-down to their local store for some amazing new deals.

Official:  Radio Adverts Cause Blindness and Insanity
Radio Adverts - Bloody Annoying
Radio Adverts – Bloody Annoying
tookapic / Pixabay – CC0

Several people who responded to the radio adverts went blind because they could not believe their eyes.

Unbelievably Low Prices

Unconfirmed reports suggest some of them have gone mad, bonkers, or completely crazy after coming into contact with unbelievably low prices in a sale that must end soon.

Everything Must Go

A spokesperson for the Health and Safety Executive told Druids Loom – ‘Local radio is a toxic mix of shit music, shit adverts, and shit DJ’s. We urge the general public to stay vigilant. Early signs of bad local radio include the repetition of phone numbers and company names. Repetition of phone numbers and company names? Yes, repetition of phone numbers and company names. Oh shit, I think I’ve been infected!’

Fans of local radio reacted angrily to the news, jamming the Health and Safety switchboard. However, most of the calls were about their favourite type of dog.

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

  Subscribe  
Notify of