Oh Shit! – Say Rich and Powerful

It was revealed today that the world's richest, most powerful elite are corrupt, tax-dodging, lawbreaking pieces of scum and this came as absolutely no surprise to anyone.

Corrupt Bastards
Corrupt Bastards
geralt / Pixabay

The richest and most powerful people on the planet were today slightly concerned for a bit, after it was revealed that the only way they have become rich and powerful was to be totally corrupt pieces of scum.

Short Lived
The concern was short lived however, when they realised that they were the richest and most powerful people in the world and if they can get away with murder, they can certainly get away with this.

Go Missing
“I’m not the least bit worried,” explained Abrokinic Arsetwate, a rich and powerful bastard from Russia. “I am so rich I can buy a small continent – I am quite literally untouchable. In my mansion, if I feel one of my servants isn’t working hard enough, they just mysteriously ‘go missing’ – that’s how I roll!”

Inland Revenue
Steven Poorman, a carpet fitter from Sunderland told the Druid’s Loom, “Let’s face it – we all knew this. No honest tax-payer has ever become rich and powerful. Last year I handed in my tax return and there was a small error in it. I was slapped with a huge fine and have had the  Inland Revenue all over me ever since. I bet if someone tried to do this to these guys their car’s brakes would “fail” whilst driving down a steep hill or something.”

David Cameron said in a statement today, “This kind of thing is really bad and we are going to be looking into it immediately,” before rushing off, looking worried and talking into his mobile phone.



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