Penis Size Secret to Election Success

Recent revelations in the US presidential candidacy elections show that penis size is now an intrinsically important factor in election success.

Political Sausage Fest
Political Sausage Fest
Public Domain Image – CC0

World leaders have, over the weekend, been clamouring to show their hands to the public in order to prove how big their penises are. This comes after Donald Trump, turned a serious election candidate contest into a cock fest.

It has since been shown that voters will always be thinking about a candidates penis, as opposed to policies, before placing  the little X in the box on polling day.

Flop Out

It is anticipated that in the next UK general election, instead of a televised debate there will simply be a penis measuring contest. Candidates will  flop out their cocks, to be measured – probably by one adjudicator with white gloves, like that one in the national lottery. Whether the measurement will be before, or after arousal remains to be decided.


The swing-o-meter, will be replaced by a giant cock, for each party, that grows and shrinks with the number of seats gained or lost.

In other news – Hilary Clinton has decided to pull out of the US candidate campaign.

Article Rating
Notify of

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

newest most voted
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
March 7, 2016 15:56

There’s a typo in your article. You must have fat fingers.
March 8, 2016 04:10 would like to wish Druids Loom a merry Christmas and every success in 2014.