World leaders have, over the weekend, been clamouring to show their hands to the public in order to prove how big their penises are. This comes after Donald Trump, turned a serious election candidate contest into a cock fest.
It has since been shown that voters will always be thinking about a candidates penis, as opposed to policies, before placing the little X in the box on polling day.
It is anticipated that in the next UK general election, instead of a televised debate there will simply be a penis measuring contest. Candidates will flop out their cocks, to be measured – probably by one adjudicator with white gloves, like that one in the national lottery. Whether the measurement will be before, or after arousal remains to be decided.
The swing-o-meter, will be replaced by a giant cock, for each party, that grows and shrinks with the number of seats gained or lost.
In other news – Hilary Clinton has decided to pull out of the US candidate campaign.